Living With an Abuser

If you are staying with your batterer, think about:

· What works best to keep you safe in an emergency.

· Who you can call in a crisis.

· If you would call the police if the violence starts again. Can you work out a signal with the children or the neighbors to call the police when you need help?

· If you need to flee temporarily, where would you go? Think through several places where you can go in a crisis. Write down the addresses and phone numbers, and keep them with you.

· If you need to flee your home, know the escape routes in advance. You can teach school-aged children these escape routes as well. One good way to teach kids to flee is by using "fire drills", which they should know anyway.

· Document days, times and exactly what was said and done.  This can be used later to show a pattern of abuse.  Keep this information where your abuser can not find it, with a friend or at work.